Umbra Checkle Checker Board

You used to walk into stores asking for something to fit your executive taste. "Do you carry those five metal balls attached to strings that keep hitting each other for eternity?" The clerk sighed as he pointed to the Newton's Cradle. You sighed as you purchased it. It never got you promoted to CEO, but it helped you keep up with the Joneses in the cubicle next-door. But now you've got your Umbra Checkle Checker Board, and things have changed. No longer is the challenge finding something worthy of sitting atop your desk. Rather, you scour stores for desks worthy of sitting beneath the sleek, concave landscape of your new Umbra Checkle Checker Board.