This is a post about puns. People of all ages can enjoy puns—they’re not just for groan-ups. A pun, in case you wanted a definition, is a form of verbal tomfoolery that takes advantage of the multiple meanings of words or other words which sound similar, for humorous or rhetorical effect.
Paronomasia
I did a theatrical performance about puns. Really it was just a play on words. I thought about performing it upside-down with rhymed couplets. It could have been inverse.
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novacaine during his root canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication.
There was a philosopher who loved medical examinations. He never metaphysical he didn’t like.
The incompetent executioner was fired. He couldn’t get the hang of it. He tried to open a store that specialized in origami, but it just folded.
Did you hear about the guy who lost his whole left side in a car accident? He’s all right now.
***
The head cardinal at Notre Dame needed to hire someone to take care of the cathedral’s belltower. A quiet unassuming man applied for the job.
“What are your qualifications?” asked the cardinal.
“I have a very unique method for ringing the bells, sir.” The man said. “Well, let me see”, replied the cardinal.
The man climbed the stairs to the top of the tower, backed up against the wall, ran at fullspeed and slammed his face hard against the bell—which rang out in the most mellifluous, beautiful tones the cardinal had ever heard in his life. He was hired on the spot.
The next morning the cardinal had arranged for all the clergy to gather in the courtyard to meet the new hire and hear the bell’s extraordinary sounds. The man climbed the stairs to the top of the bell tower, backed up against the wall, ran at fullspeed, slipped and fell out of the tower window—only to land (SPLAT) at the feet of the gathered group of horrified onlookers.
“What a tragedy!” they cried. “We must notify his family! What is the poor soul’s name?”
It was at this point that the cardinal realized he had neglected even this rudimentary piece of paperwork.
“I’m afraid I never got his name…but his face rings a bell…”
***
The next day another strange man showed up in the cardinal’s office. He explained to the startled clergyman that he was the deceased’s brother, and that in their family it was a point of honor to finish a task that family member vowed to complete. He didn’t have an unusual style—he just pulled the rope and the bells rang out. But the cardinal was desperate for help, and figuring he was particularly fortunate, hired the new man on the spot.
The next morning once again the cardinal had arranged for all members of the cathedral to gather in the courtyard. The new man climbed the stairs to the top of the bell tower, reached out to grab the rope, and fell out of the tower window—only to land (SPLAT) at the feet of the gathered group of horrified onlookers, now doubly horrified.
“How could this happen again!?!” they cried. “Who is this poor fellow?”
The cardinal realized he had once again failed to get identifying information for his employee.
“I don’t know who this one is….but he’s a dead ringer for his brother.”
***
The droppings of the migrating Canada geese just missed the outdoor revelers at the inaugural Asian math puzzle competition, marking the first time dung flew over Sudoku fest.
Now that you have some inspiration, head over to our pun challenge and share your best for a chance to win!
